Posted by JM | Posted in Relationship Advice | Posted on 26-03-2010
A couple of days ago I wrote a post on being insecure and why to stop being insecure. That post was about how I did not understand how people can be insecure with themselves when they are in a good relationship.
In a perfect world people would be able to turn off insecurities like a light switch. This is not the case for most insecure people. Insecurities derive from people’s pasts and the past is hard to forget about. This post is going to reflect what I think the outcome of relationships are when you are in one with someone who is insecure.
When Your Boyfriend Is Insecure
He will get jealous all the time, and he will always want to hangout with you when you go places. This is not okay. You need to have time apart from each other. The bottom line here is that he needs to be able to trust you.
If your boyfriend is already insecure, and you have lied to him about several things already, you might as well just throw in the towel. You as a girl who would like some independence to do things on your own will always now feel guilty for doing so.
Since you probably will not just throw in the towel quite yet in your relationship, I suggest you talk to him and tell him that his insecurities are really bothering you. That you need to be able to hang out with your friends. Tell him that it is not like you are going to be out looking for other guys, and that he is the center of your world.
Guys like to be told things logically and up front like this. Although I am not insecure with myself in anyway – if I were I would want my girlfriend to lay it out like that for me. It would make an insecure person feel better.
When Your Girlfriend Is Insecure
Okay I was pretty much just talking from a girls perspective but now for the meat of this article. When your girlfriend is insecure, it is not fun at all. This is why.
Whenever you want to have sex you have to have the lights off. This is because of the girls insecurities with herself. She either thinks she is too fat or she is ugly and does not want you to see her body.
If this is bothering you and she does not know that it is you need to communicate it with her. If you do not tell her that you do not understand why the lights always need to be off when you are having sex she’s going to think you are fine with it.
Trust issues with a partner are kind of funny. Sometimes you do not need to do anything wrong and your partner will not trust you. They won’t let you do anything with anyone. So unhealthy! At least if you are not trusting your boyfriend/girlfriend make it be because of something they did, and not something that someone else did in your past to make it so you can’t trust anyone.
When one of you is insecure in a relationship it makes it really hard for the person who is not. Two people that have two different frames of mind about this area usually do not work out. This is why it is so important to communicate with your partner when things are bothering you.
If you are in a relationship, or maybe you were in a past relationship that one of you was insecure and the other was not please comment below to give us some details and feedback of the relationship.
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